Oh, Not Again!
by skylands
Summary: "Well, we got this letter from Lord Apollo," a blonde demigod began. "Yes, we know Annabeth," her mother replied, "a version of dear demigods, I'm sending you back into the future to read five books along with some cleverly inserted humor which the author feels is very Apollo-esque but is really not that clever after all." Parody/non-existent fourth wall


Zeus was having a pretty good day. He'd only been threatened by his wife twenty six times, had great fun arguing with Poseidon and slowly and painfully killed a total of eight demigods. Now he was lounging in his throne having great fun watching his family members argue and occasionally interrupting to impart his wisdom and continuously remind them that he was their boss.

What fun.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash accompanied by thunder and rushing wind and other dramatic sound effects. All the gods covered their eyes and cowered in their thrones.

When the light finally subsided, they hesitantly opened their eyes, while glancing around to check that they weren't the only ones who had shown a sign of weakness.

Standing before the gods were ten demigods. Athena and Poseidon simultaneously groaned and shot Apollo a withering look. Apollo shrugged indifferently and jammed his earphones back into his ears.

A tall, confident looking boy with black hair and sea green eyes stepped forward and started speaking, "I am Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon, Savior of Olympus-"

"Yes, yes, we don't need to hear the page long list again, we already know," Zeus said impatiently, "You don't appear to be from that far back into the past. I swear, I remember a time when Apollo sent a bunch of infants up here."

"Well, we got this letter from Lord Apollo," a blonde demigod began.

"Yes, we know Annabeth," her mother replied, "a version of dear demigods, I'm sending you back into the future to read five books along with some cleverly inserted humor which the author feels is very Apollo-esque but is really not that clever after all." Annabeth frowned uncertainly. Maybe Dionysus had tricked her mother into drinking something.

"I didn't trick her into to doing nothing, young lady," Dionysus shouted from his throne.

"You can read my mind?" Annabeth asked.

"Well, not really," Dionysus admitted, looking embarrassed. "But the said line sounded so funny, the author just had to put it there."

"Should I laugh?" Annabeth asked.

"Laughing would be nice," Dionysus said, nodding approvingly. The daughter of Athena gave a shrill laugh, and then submitted to silence, blushing hard.

Shooting Dionysus a poisonous look, Artemis said, "So you see we don't have any use for you demigods, but there are some things you must do before we send you back. It's in the contract." The gathered demigods mutely nodded. Things were not going according to plan and even though the Olympians was severely OOC, they couldn't help being afraid of being blasted to pieces. "So apparently, a story cannot be complete without a Percabeth kiss," Artemis continued, gesturing to Percy and Annabeth.

Aphrodite squealed at the mention of kissing because kissing is just not complete without a squealing Aphrodite. So naturally, Percy and Annabeth turned bright red and Aphrodite squealed some more and the other Olympians looked bored.

Their friends pushed them near each other while they protested and grinned. Then they gazed into each other's sea green eyes and stormy grey eyes for ten minutes and then kissed passionately and hungrily and lovingly. Then it was finally over after two hours and the Olympians heaved a sigh of relief and all the demigods got teary eyed. Except, of course, Rachel and Luke who were busy planning OOC murder.

A nauseated Artemis continued. "Very well, now we have Thalia confessing her love for Nico and Luke and a romantic love triangle ensuing where one of the boys preferably tries to kill the other." Thalia, who had been visiting camp because of _reasons _turned bright red, suddenly realizing how alike she and Nico were and what a tragic past she shared with Luke.

Luke- who had risen from the dead also because of _reasons- _meanwhile, knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "But I love Annabeth," he protested.

"You love everyone," Apollo stated.

"Okay then," he shrugged and went and kissed Thalia.

Nico shrugged indifferently and said, "You can have her. I'm already dating Evelyn Rebecca Darknight Rose Rider." Artemis brightened at the mention of her daughter and all the boys immediately wished they could date Evelyn and all the half-blood girls wished they could be like feeling soon faded however, because of the anti-Mary Sue spell Poseidon had put on the Throne Room when he had become too sick of "Percy's Sisters" showing up every ten minutes.

"Okay, so that's done with," Artemis continued, "now we have Hades dancing in a pink tutu."

"We do?" Ares asked looking up from the dagger he was sharpening with a grin.

"No, we don't," Artemis hissed, glaring at Hermes who had subsided burst into a fit of giggles. "The next requirement is that when you go back either Drew/Silena will come up with a game of Truth or Dare or Percy will join Chaos or Leo will discover Facebook."

"Why will I join Chaos?" Percy asked confused.

"Because your brother Larry will kill a hellhound and everyone will start loving him and then Annabeth will cheat on you with him and then you'll find out about their relationship and get all angsty," Hera replied.

Percy was appalled. "I have a brother named _Larry_?"

"Well, it may be Jake," Hera offered.

"But that fulfills all of the requirement!" Artemis announced, and then muttered, "for the two hundred and eighty third time."

"Well, in that case off you go!" Zeus said. He clicked his fingers and the demigods disappeared in a flash of light.

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**:D please dont take this personally~ ive written a lot of cliches, but i learned about being original and i hope that after reading this story, you will too!**


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